Nearly three decades after the Clinton scandal made headlines around the world, Monica Lewinsky is speaking with a clarity and emotional honesty that she says took her years to achieve. Now 52, Lewinsky admits that while she has become stronger and more confident, the trauma of that time still lingers — often in the form of fear.
In a recent interview on her podcast, “Reclaiming with Monica Lewinsky,” actress and activist Jamila Jamil asked how it feels to see her identity, her image, and her personal life torn apart on the world stage. Lewinsky responded thoughtfully, explaining that time and self-acceptance have helped her reclaim the parts of herself that were taken from her during the scandal.
She describes the healing process as slow, saying that whenever she is able to reveal herself as she really is and receive sympathy from others, it feels like peeling back layers of old hurt. Still, the scars of the public humiliation have not completely healed.
Lewinsky recalls how her life suddenly changed in 1998, when her affair with then-President Bill Clinton became public. At just 24 years old, she went from being a private citizen to one of the most criticized people in the world overnight. She says the attention was relentless and deeply damaging.
In her most candid confession yet, Lewinsky describes the time as a time of loneliness, shame and emotional turmoil. The paparazzi followed her every day, her family was under extreme stress, and her mental health deteriorated to the point where she considered suicide. She reveals that her parents also went to extremes in response to the incident.
Perhaps the most important change in Lewinsky’s perspective is how she now understands the relationship. While she once described it as a consensual affair, she now firmly calls it “a gross abuse of power.” She says that maturity and the passage of time have made it impossible to ignore this imbalance of power between a young intern and the most powerful man in the world.
Lewinsky makes it clear that she accepts responsibility for her own choices, but insists that accountability does not erase the dynamics of power. She believes that Clinton ultimately escaped the consequences that only she alone had to suffer; she endured years of ridicule, while Clinton retained her dignity and influence.
The impact also extended to her sense of identity and intimacy, creating an emotional burden that has haunted her long after the headlines have faded. Yet today, Lewinsky is reclaiming her own story on her own terms — no longer softening her words for the comfort of others. Now an anti-bullying activist, producer and podcast host, Lewinsky says her 50s have brought her an unexpected peace. She explains that this acceptance didn’t come easily, but was hard-won — but life finally feels like her own again.